I feel weird.

BUFFALO MAN. NEXT MONTH or money whatever comes first.

I feel weird. 

Fuck you man.

I was wrong. I can’t do this. I was trying to sleep and I couldn’t. I was looking through my phone and I saw this photo you sent me. You’re sitting on your bed with your glasses on and you have the most genuine smile I’ve seen in my entire life, and your turtle Nintendo is all shelled up on your knee. And I just couldn’t take it. I broke down and I’m broken down. Every time it’s rained this week so have I. I just can’t do this without you, and I know you can. And I know I’ll be able to soon, but right now I just can’t take this. I’ve lost it. I can’t sleep and I can’t think. You’re all I’ve got, and I haven’t got you. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m sitting here teary-eyed typing up a mantra. What has my life become… Tour next week. Seven days of me thinking about what to do with the rest of my life. After that, I get to spend my entire summer thinking more about what to do with the rest of my life, when I should be spending it with you. 

Love,

Paul. 

Welp, that’s it. We talked. This is fine.

Bon Iver tattoo and writing this summer. It’s official. 

Everything that happens is from now on.

Most likely this or something close 

You know it’s totally okay to respond. I think you might be trying to get me to be mad at you. I’m not sure. Either way, it’s not working for me.

I’ve been sitting here. Taking words. Bon Iver lyrics more specifically. Thinking of tattoos. That I want. Word tattoos. I don’t even care anymore. I’m gonna look like a hipster, and I’m gonna look like a lame emo. That’s fine. These are what I’ve come up with. Not sure yet. Will weed through eventually. I think my favorite 2 are the last 2. Specifically the very last one. Very permanant worthy to me. We shall see.

…And at once I knew i was not magnificent

Still alive for you, love

We will see when it gets warm

With the wild wolves around you

What might’ve been lost

And the story’s all over you

I’m not really like this… I’m probably plightless

There’s a pull to the flow

For the irony, I’d rather know

I was full by your count

Take all the wind on

Running home…

With all your lies, you’re still very lovable

I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time

It’s hard to find it when you knew it

I’ve been twisting to the sun I needed to replace    

There’s a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed And he’s dangling my keys even fakes a toss

This is not the sound of a new man or a crispy realization. It’s the sound of the unlocking and the lift away…

Everything that happens is from now on